Are you one half of those rare couples where both of you are triathletes? Are you someone who has no need to explain where you are creeping off to at 5am dressed in a glorified leotard? Or why you’ve just spent the equivalent of a holiday to the Seychelles on a ‘bloody kids toy’ (as my bike was once described), simply because your significant other fully understands exactly that this is the kind of thing you have to do in your quest for multisport greatness?
Then this list below might sound a little familiar…
10. You aren’t quite sure whose shaved leg hair it is that has blocked the bathroom plughole
9. Your kit is no longer “your kit”, it is “our” kit, and you will need to get used to your partner using your hard-earned finisher’s T-shirt as a base-layer or suddenly appearing in that pair of compression socks you thought you’d lost.
8. Your idea of a relaxing holiday together involves a bike ride – in extreme cases, on a tandem. The “relaxing” part comes because you are going a long way, rather than flat out.
7. Before every race you do together, you tell each other you are definitely not trying to beat each other. Then you go out and do everything humanly possible to beat each other.
6. Domestic arguments are never about things like staying out till all hours and coming home smelling of booze, but instead about who’s had all the energy gels and where has my spare inner tube gone.
5. Your idea of an appropriate birthday present is a track pump or a backpack, or something else that, by sheer coincidence, both of you can use.
4. You go on training camps together, but spend the entire week riding in different groups.
3. You need to be extra careful when selecting your pre-race excuses for impending poor performance to your friends (had a cold, feeling fatigued, calf strain, all the usuals) in case your significant other drops you in it by inadvertently telling the truth when you aren’t there that you’ve done so little training you’ve pulled a muscle eating soup.
2. Despite having plenty of matching kit you never wear it at the same time – except for the two weeks after you’ve completed the same race when you both wear your finisher’s T-shirt everywhere, together, at all times.
1. The only thing more competitive than your battle in races, is your battle for wall space for your medals and finishing photos in your home.
Yes indeed, there’s no easier way to get all your numerous training sessions done, ensure your diet meets the very latest nutrition advice, and plan all your intimate moments so that they don’t interfere with your recovery/ sleep requirements, than to be in a relationship with someone who chooses to go through all that fandango as well.