Liam Colebrook: I owe so much to triathlon for saving my life

Liam Colebrook was flying high at work, had completed long-distance triathlons and was a proud father of two, but underneath the 'success' he was seriously struggling with his mental health to the point where he considered suicide.

Here he shares his story of how he found his way out of the darkness…

I went to watch a friend of mine compete at Ironman UK, Bolton. There was a real buzz to the event and I thought, ‘I want to do this’. My swim history was zero but, not long after, I finished my first event, a sprint, and then in 2016 I finished Ironman Bolton.

From the outside it looked like I was flying. I was a senior manager of a PLC traveling the world. I had a wife and two beautiful children. But for years I’d been struggling.

During Covid, I went to the doctors and told them, ‘I’m struggling here and I’m thinking about ending my life.’ He put me in touch with a therapist, but I convinced them, and myself, I was fine.

I was drinking more and gambling. Things spiralled. I was gambling to stay awake at night. I’d set my alarm for 20-minute intervals. If I fell asleep, then tomorrow would come quicker and it’d be horrendous.

Depression, anxiety, gambling, drink, money problems… It was horrid. Looking back, things worsened as I grew inactive. I’d gone from playing football (albeit badly!) to doing triathlon all the time. But then I stopped.

My irrational side was out of control. I nearly bought a tent as I thought I could be homeless. It never entered my head that my family or friends would ask why I was living in a field.

My family and I attended a football match. I’d had a bet like normal, but I wasn’t just gambling with money now but also my life. If there weren’t three goals in the match, I’d end my life. At half-time it was nil-nil. I gambled again. This time I needed two goals. In the 85th minute Mansfield, our team, are winning one-nil, but I thought, ‘This isn’t saving your dad’s life.’ Five minutes later it was one-one. This couldn’t go on.

I’d been introduced to a gambling therapy charity called ‘Gordon Moody’ and ended up going to rehab. But I’d convinced myself I didn’t have a gambling problem and had a bet on the way there. On arrival someone asked how much I’d lost. I asked them quickly in return and when I heard the answer things started to hit me that I may be experiencing gambling harm.  

Nobody knew I’d been in rehab. At work I’m walking around thinking, ‘I’ve just been in rehab for a week’. I’ve got 50 people working for me and I’m putting on a smiley face.

Epic Restart Foundation, Gamcare and Step Change helped me every day and slowly I began to grow healthier. I was now kipping on a mattress on the floor and using vouchers to buy food donated by 
the charities.

Then I got an email asking for volunteers at the Outlaw in 2023. I loved it and found my tribe again. Soon after I did a 10km race. I helped at all the Outlaw events and my children came with me to Thoresby. They even raced the future Outlaw.

In September 2023, I completed Ironman 70.3 Weymouth. I’m now on a training programme toward the 2024 Outlaw. Without having the structure of a training plan, I would struggle. But I owe so much to the charities in this article, Outlaw and triathlon.

I can’t overstate the impact that that summer had on my recovery. I was spending time outdoors, giving back to a community that I enjoyed being part of, living a healthy active life with likeminded people and getting to spend quality time with my children.

For those struggling with their mental health, these are the steps I’d urge anyone to try; seek the right professional help for you, remain healthy, find something positive to focus on and enjoy being active outdoors with your tribe.

Top image credit: Outlaw Triathlon