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Home / Training / Tri tosh translator: 10 things triathletes say – and what they really mean

Tri tosh translator: 10 things triathletes say – and what they really mean

Martyn Brunt reveals the true meaning behind the tosh triathletes talk…

I don’t generally hand out tips to eager triathletes like a zookeeper feeding sprats to barking seals. But I thought I’d try to pass on some post-race wisdom. So, while at first glimpse this particular column might look like a load of drivel, look more closely and… no, you were right first time. Below, though, are a few of the truth-stretching justifications I’ve heard – and come out with myself – after races so that you can recognise tosh when you hear it.

1. I finished in the top 20 in my age-group

finished 19th in my age-group (out of 23) and 347th overall

2. (For the over 50s) I finished second in my age-group

There were two in my age-group

3. Conditions were much harder than last year

I was slower than last year

4. I was fifth fastest on the bike

I am crap at running

5. I was third finisher from my club

I finished 347th overall

6. I’ve been struggling with a cold all week

I haven’t trained hard enough

12 of the best race-day excuses

7. I overtook loads of people on the run

I didn’t try hard enough on the bike

8. There were a lot of former elites racing as age-groupers and those in the armed forces are basically full-time athletes

I didn’t qualify

9. If I’d been 18 months older, I’d have finished in the top three in my age-group

I didn’t qualify

10. I did a course PB

I’ve never raced here before

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The 220 Triathlon team is made up of vastly experienced athletes, sports journalists, kit reviewers and coaches. In short, what we don't know about multisport frankly isn't worth knowing! Saying that, we love expanding our sporting knowledge and increasing our expertise in this phenomenal sport.